Wellness Wednesday #2: Which Wolf Are You Feeding...?

There's an old metaphor that goes a little like this...

There's a war that goes on inside of all of us; between the good and the bad, optimism or cynicism, positivity or negativity. We wouldn't be human if we didn't have BOTH of these kinds of elements inside of ourselves. There's a lot of duality in our existence, life or death, light or darkness, yes or no,.....we're not one dimensional creatures. That's where some of the absolute joy exists, getting to meet, connect and experience all kinds of different people and situations. If everyone and everything was exactly the same....life would be boring.

There are just as many things that may tempt us vs drive us. Inspire us or challenge us. We're capable of experiencing and leaning into either......we're capable of leaning into all of them, whichever side they come from. Which means, we get a choice. That's the rule.

But the challenge lies in having to make that choice each and every day, sometimes multiple times a day. It's purposeful and intentional choices, between the good angel and bad angel. But no matter how often we find ourselves in the position to make that choice, the simple truth is, it's not always easy.

Sometimes, for example, it would be really nice to occasionally take the low road. The low road is fun! To give back to someone in the way they truly deserve, instead of being the bigger person and rising above. Sometimes it would be so much more fun to lean into that other side, be petty, vindictive, spiteful, even vengeful at times. They say revenge is a dish best served cold.....occasionally, we want to serve it piping fucking hot! Who are we kidding?!? As First Responders, Emergency Services Members and Public Safety Professionals, we know, deep in our bones, what people are capable of and sometimes.....the punishment they truly deserve. Not just resulting from our legal system....but from the karma bus running them over, backing up and doing it again.

But we also see the dichotomy in action. Of the goodness and camaraderie we experience with our colleagues, the fact we place our lives on the line for complete strangers and for the person standing beside us. We see civilians step up to help others, the good deeds that go unseen by anyone else....so we know that both exists.

So, the question becomes, which wolf wins......the one that we feed. The one that we fuel. The one we lean into. The one we give our focus and attention to. Therefore, we are in control of which wolf wins, but our own active choices and actions. But we must be intentional about that. We must recognise when the other wolf is getting a taste, a whiff and lean into the other one, if it's not the one we intend to provide a feast to. Because the more we pay attention to that wolf, the more of those opportunities and elements of our desires and personality will present themselves to us. 

Which one we feed determines how we live our lives. And we all have personal agency when it comes to that. We can be drawn to both sides at different times of our lives, but most of us choose to lean into one or the other, depending on our personality and perspective of the world, including our place in it. But the important thing to remember is this; whichever one we choose to feed, is the same one that will get a taste and constantly want more. 

It's essentially the same way our brains work. If we err on the negative, glass-is-half-empty kind of disposition and mindset, then we will primarily see bad things everywhere and our view of the world will be shaded with cynicism and pessimism. If we're more of a positive, glass-is-half-full kind of mentality, then we will not only see, but seek the good things in life. We will assume the best of people instead of the worst, we will find the light in the darkness and view our existence with a sense of hope and optimism, with the knowledge that bad things can happen, but we will be able to cope and overcome them.

What we attend to, nurture and focus on.....is the one that grows stronger and wins the battle.

So now that you know....which wolf are you going to feed.....? Because the choice is yours. Choose wisely.

The Tale of Two Wolves

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

He said "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all.

One is Evil. It is anger, envy, jealousy, doubt, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego.

The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, forgiveness, truth, compassion and faith.

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather "Which wolf wins...?"

The old Cherokee simply replied "The one you feed".

Wellness Wednesday #2 for 2026.

Cheers,

Erin Jane

Remember, you can find me every Tuesday and Thursday 2pm-4pm EST on The Thin Line Rock Station; "Holding Space with Erin Jane" or listen to episodes of "I Will Hold Space For Your Darkness; A First Responder Mental Health Podcast" for in depth conversations with First Responders, Veterans and experts dedicated to the wellness of our people.