Wellness Wednesday #5: Positivity Is A Choice; So Is Negativity. Choose Wisely.

Positivity Is A Choice!

It's easy to lean into negativity when we're constantly surrounded by it. In our social media feed, on the news, in our personal and professional lives. Maybe it's prominent with the people you surround yourself with.

But you know what they say, you are heavily impacted and influenced by those you choose to associate with. So if there's 4 dickheads in a room, guess what.....you're the 5th one. If you surround yourself with people who are focused on negativity, cynicism, pettiness and dragging other people down, it's no surprise what kind of mindset and attitude you may embody.

As First Responders and Emergency Services Personnel, we know that certain members thrive in a negative environment, helping to promote a toxic culture that can poison an entire station, crew or department. We've all worked with these people, rode in trucks, patrol cars and ambulances with them. Everything sucks. It's always someone else's fault. They're never to blame. If you dare offer any kind of different perspective or a hint of positivity or optimism, you're wrong. Because they're ALWAYS right. They'll bitch and moan for the rest of their careers, be miserable and never change.

However, what most people fail to realise is that what we choose to focus on, is what our mind will be trained to seek out. That's the important part. Negativity is a choice. Therefore, so is positivity.

Being the kind of person to make that choice and focus on the positive things in life, doesn't negate the existence of the negative aspects. It just means I make the conscious choice of not letting negativity tarnish my whole perspective of the world. Not everything sucks, not everyone is out to get you, just because someone else is perceived to be winning doesn't mean that you're losing. Are awful things are still going happen....? Sure. But I can be positive despite those things.

I know I've been the subject of eye rolls throughout the course of my life, because I'm naturally a happy, bubbly, positive person. What can be mistaken for naivety or dismissed as sticking my head in the sand and ignoring reality, is in fact, a purposeful choice. A sporting coach named Brian showed me this outlook and perspective was possible in my teenage years and after embracing it enthusiastically, I've never looked back. Not to claim I haven't been disappointed, hurt, betrayed, saddened, fucked over....all of the things. I have no doubt I've hurt and let people down along the way too, because I have no problem admitting to mistakes, imperfections or accepting I might not right all the time. Because no one possibly can be. And if you can't have some self reflection and awareness to realise that, you're always going to remain stuck exactly where you are.

I am a naturally positive person, but I'm also human and have my down days too. So every day that I am fortunate to wake up, positivity remains a choice. I choose to learn, grow, improve, reflect, evolve and take everything in my stride. The good.....and the bad. I'm not immune to being impacted or affected by the negative things in this world, I just choose not to let it alter who I am or how I want to show up. I have no interest in being jaded or negative. It may be an easy default for some, especially amongst our population, when we are exposed to the awfulness that humanity is capable of and the destructive nature of fate, every single day.

I mean, let's face it, the algorithms we're slaves to on the internet purposely push negative content. So along with being a lazy, unproductive destructive default, it's popular for likes and clicks.

But it's also easy. Finding the positive in the negative, practicing gratitude, and choosing to be kind and empathetic in an often unkind and compassionless world, that actually takes effort and intentionality.

I'm not here to tell anyone I'm right and they're wrong; I'm here to say if you're swimming in a pool of negativity and find it's not serving you.....there's another way. I'm not preachy about my perspective on life, I'm just unapologetic about it. Being a happy, positive person is my default and how I'm comfortable showing up in the world. I can ask the hard questions, take ownership and accountability and admit when I'm wrong, without losing that persona. Because my ego isn't threatened by it.

So, circling back to your mindset and it being a choice, this is due to a wonderful ability our brain has to continually evolve, adapt and change: neuroplasticity. It's how we learn new skills, develop new habits and change our mindset proactively. You may have heard the phrase "the neurons that fire together, wire together". That is neuroplasticity. Our brains are dynamic and built to adapt.

The best example is when you're looking to buy a new car in a particular colour. Then, all of sudden, you see that car everywhere! That's because you've essentially told your brain to pay attention to that vehicle, so it now notices it. The same is true for positive aspects of life. You can train your mind to notice the good and embrace positivity, by actively practicing things like gratitude. Or simply paying attention to the small aspects of your own world; the things many of us take for granted...and seeing them with a newfound light and perspective.

Experiencing joy in the little things and not letting comparison be the thief of it. That's definitely easier to do that when you focus inwards, instead of spending your time worrying about what everyone else is doing. Because at the end of the day, if you're not in control of it, it's a better use of your time and energy to focus on how you show up, behave and contribute than endlessly worry about others.

When you embrace a positive mindset, if that is indeed your choice, it allows you to be focused, disciplined, passionate and pursposeful with the things your want to achieve in life. And completely unbothered by the negativity, pettiness, lack of accountability and attention seeking of others. Don't get me wrong, you still clock it. You let it inform you as to what people's true nature is and intentions might be.....and you most certainly don't take shit from anyone. But you don't let it affect you in any real, impactful way.

Some people believe they're landing punches; but in reality, they're just shadow boxing in that ring all alone. 

When attention, good or bad is their oxygen, let them suffocate. Because you're too busy with an unapologetically positive mindset toward life and unbothered by nonsense; especially when it's not contributing anything of worth.

So, if you find yourself in a place filled with negativity and that's not where you want to be, make a change. The choice is yours. Choose wisely.

Cheers,

Erin Jane

Remember, you can find me every Tuesday and Thursday 2pm-4pm EST on The Thin Line Rock Station; "Holding Space with Erin Jane" or listen to episodes of "I Will Hold Space For Your Darkness; A First Responder Mental Health Podcast" for in depth conversations with First Responders, Veterans and experts dedicated to the wellness of our people.